


Hiraeth

by LadyLace



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Based on a Tumblr Post, Fix-It, Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 18:12:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6205480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLace/pseuds/LadyLace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do you remember me?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hiraeth

**Author's Note:**

> Hiraeth  
> (n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return; the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.

Merlin didn’t think his day would end up the way it did. He’d ended up in New York by accident, really, some time ago. It was Mason’s fault, who reminded him so much of Elyan, that he couldn’t help but follow the gypsy to his newest destination of choice.

They’d gotten an apartment together, somewhere as cheap as could be, but basically was only a studio apartment next to an abandoned subway station. It was probably over twenty years old, and it was decrepit. The old man who was the landlord reminded him of Kilghara. Not just because his name was Killian O'Gara, but because he was gruff and full of riddles and isolation. He smoked like a chimney too.

Merlin liked it, though, it reminded him of his quarters in Camelot, back when he’d was Gaius’s apprentice. These days he made his living being in the forensics division at the New York Police Department. It was morbid, grueling, and often gory work.

He didn’t mind. He’d seen far worse back in the Middle Ages.

He missed them all terribly. He might have missed his magic, too, if there were any real use for it these days. There wasn’t. Not really. So, his magic faded with disuse and the ravages of time faded the memory of magic itself. Magic just seemed to… disappear. That was fine with Merlin, though. He didn’t need problems like dark sorcerers mucking things up for him like they did in the past. He was far too old for that now.

Merlin often found himself reminiscing about back then. About what he could have done differently. About Arthur and the others. He wondered what happened to Leon and if the Cup of Life made him immortal or if he’d died like he was supposed to. Like everyone was suppose to. Except Merlin it seems. He wondered why anybody would ever even consider immortality to be a good thing when his life was so miserable and continuous. He was so, so tired.

1,516 years, 2 months, and 14 days. How much longer would he have to wait?

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Time flew by him, as it always did. Ely - Mason - Mason had left town again. Said that this time he was headed down West for a warmer winter in California. Merlin couldn’t blame him. He didn’t like the cold either.

It was early September and Merlin was on a crime scene. He had on his gloves and was being his general nosy self, though at least now he could say he was being paid to do it. Before he’d done it to protect Arthur. Arthur, who always had someone out to kill him. Always.

Merlin sighed and decided there really wasn’t much evidence here. No signs of magic, either. He could always cast a spell for the walls to show him what happened, but that usually drew unwanted attention. Also, he was rusty.

He was in the middle of his internal debate when his cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

_“You remember me, Merlin?”_

He hung up immediately.

His heart was hammering in his chest, his eyes wide with disbelief, and a cold sweat broke out on his face. He could feel goosebumps rolling down his arms as he shuddered from… from all of it.

The voice… It sounded familiar, but parts of it were odd. It sounded different. And - by the gods - his name. Someone had used his name. This both terrified him and interested him. No one who knew that name was alive, and the only one who had the possibility of ever remembering was — 

No. It couldn’t be. It’d been so long… there was no need…

His phone rang again.

Merlin’s heart was in his throat. He picked up and brought the phone in his shaking hand up to his ear.

_“Do you remember me?”_

Merlin gulped. He felt tears in his eyes and he swallowed thickly. His voice trembled when he replied, “You are my dollop-head.”

The voice laughed. And Merlin definitely knew that laugh. He would recognize it anywhere. “I thought I was your clot-pole, Merlin?”

He collapsed to his knees and Merlin just barely held back a sob. “It’s been 1,516 years, 8 months, two weeks, and two days since I last saw you, you arse.”

“Ah, there’s the Merlin I know. You aren’t crying are you?”

“No. I’ve just got something in my eye. Arthur… Arthur I’ve been… I’ve been waiting for so long… W-Where have you been?”

“Dead, wasn’t I?”

“That’s not funny.”

“No. It’s not. You know what else isn’t funny?”

“You calling me in the middle of the afternoon when I’m at work?”

“ _Mer_ lin,” Arthur says exasperatedly.

Merlin never thought he’d hear that intonation of his name with that voice ever again. It’s beautiful. Merlin feels bits of his soul that had been broken mold themselves together as if they’d never left. He hasn’t been this happy in a long time.

“I know,” he says, “I’m sorry.” 

“I knew, you know.” Arthur answers back after a bit. 

Merlin freezes. “I- what?” 

“I did tell you, didn’t I? That you couldn’t keep secrets to save your life.” 

“I didn’t-”

“I know,” Arthur sounds a little sad or disappointed.

“When did you figure it out?” Merlin bites his lip.

“After about the fifth time a branch randomly fell out of nowhere. Also, Gwaine and Lancelot were always trying to be in convenient places for you to stealthily do your magic. It was pretty obvious once I realized what I had to look for.”

“I would have-”

“Merlin,” Arthur says, his voice incredibly fond, “you are many things, but a traitor or subtle is not one of them. I know why you didn’t tell me.”

“I am sorry, though, that it came up like that. At— A-At the end.” Merlin gets off his knees and sits down on the couch in the apartment he’s been searching.

“I know. I saw. You cried for me.” Arthur sounds far too smug.

“You were worth them,” is all Merlin says.

“No man is worth your tears, Merlin.”

Merlin just shakes his head, the tears finally falling. “I missed you,“ he blurts out. “Where are you? Can I have a hug?”

“Look down.”

Merlin blinks and then goes to the window. His heart pounds.

Arthur is there. On the sidewalk. His hair is brown and his eyes slightly grayer with more green than how they used to be. He is still broad-chested with muscular shoulders and floppy hair. He is still as charmingly gorgeous as Merlin remembers him.

He rushes out of the apartment, runs down the several flight of stairs because he can’t wait for the elevator, and bursts out of the entrance doors.

He stops in front of Arthur. He’s real. This isn’t a dream.

Merlin smiles and tackles his king into a hug. He squeezes and holds on for dear life. He buries his face in the junction where neck meets shoulder and breathes in.

He won’t ever let Arthur go again. Arthur chuckles and sets Merlin down.

Oh, so Arthur’s taller now. He’ll never let Merlin live that one down. Merlin is doomed to hear teasing for the rest of his days. But that’s okay. That’s more than okay.

He surges forward before he has a chance to regret anything else. He presses his lips against Arthur and tangles his hands in the king’s hair.

He’s about to pull away when Arthur finally, finally kisses him back.

A deep, sad thing that Merlin hadn’t known lingered in his chest eased. The crippling _hiraeth_ he’d felt for all these years floated away in that instant.

Merlin has never been this happy in his life. He’s drunk with it, and his smile grows brighter. He feels fully alive for the first time in millennia.

Here, in Arthur’s arms - the other half of his coin - he feels chains drop off of him like weights. He feels free.

“You took too long, Arthur, you prat.”

“Well, Merlin, I’m not going anywhere now. How long have you loved me?”

Merlin laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling, “Guess.”

That’s not okay with Arthur. “Merlin, I am your king.”

“Not anymore, _Sire_.” The sorcerer’s eyes dance with mirth.

“I will noogie you, Merlin, you know I will.”

“When you went to the cave for that flower,” Merlin says suddenly.

“What?” Arthur frowns.

“When you did that for me, that’s when I fell in love with you.”

Arthur gapes. Then, he squeezes Merlin and growls, “No more secrets, Merlin, you stupid idiot for a manservant.”

“I love you too, Arthur.” Merlin says cheerily.

“I do, though.” Arthur smiles gently.

“Huh?” Merlin stares at him as if he’s suddenly grown a new head.

“I love you, Merlin. Thank you.”

Merlin can’t help but kiss him within an inch of his life for that.

**~ Fin ~**

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr post this is based on: <http://dbahh.tumblr.com/post/140678753323/you-remember-me-merlin>


End file.
